The Incredible Disappearing Woman

I’m very neglectful of this blog. Where have I been lately? Working mostly. Yes, some Student Affairs people DO work in the summer. In registration-land, it’s busier than I thought it would be, but not nearly as bad as it could be, so I’m taking it as a win. The other thing that’s taking up most of my life is my wedding. It’s been almost 2 years since I got engaged, but one of those years was my 2nd year of grad school, and one was my first year in a new job, so planning hasn’t gone as far as one might think we’d be at 3 months out. I’m not terribly behind, but it’s been a huge cunk of my life lately.

Something I am starting to realize as I approached and passed the 3-month mark is that I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself come October 15 (the first day of work after the honeymoon). Effective that day, I will no longer be in the throws of either wedding planning or enjoying. I’m scared that I will lose some of my identity. I’m not entirely sure I will be sad to see her go–I never wanted to be one of those brides whose entire life focused on her wedding, but it’s one of those things that just happens, you (and others) come to think of yourself only as a bride-to-be and getting through all the things that need to be done. I completely understand why so many women hire a planner! I fear what will happen to me once it’s all over. I know we will start looking for a house, but that doesn’t seem to be as labor-intensive as the wedding (I could be completely wrong, but I only foresee a few tricky things as opposed to the unending number of tricky or labor-intensive things that have occurred with the wedding).

What I’d LIKE to do it become more active at a Council Facilitator with GSEM (Trainer for those who aren’t Girl Scouts), as well as with MCPA, both of which can lead to my goal in life–toning down on my I. Being an Introvert is not a bad thing, and we are an uncommon yet necessary commodity within Student Affairs, but I think this might be an unhealthy level of introversion. I’m not bad online, but I hesitate to comment on blogs or reply via Twitter for fear of just re-hashing what someone else has (or will) say better. This isn’t bad, but I can’t say I’ve built any “relationships” through these mediums–the potential is there, I just need to work harder at it. In person is murder to me. I LOVE attending workshops and conferences for the learning experiences, and if someone starts a conversation, I can get into it, but I can’t say I remember an instance where I struck up an initial conversation. And that is pathetic, I’ll admit it.

Wow, I titled this post in reference to the fact that I haven’t been around in a while, but it’s come full-circle and I realize that professionally I’m a “disappearing woman” as well. I’m not seeking to be a Student Affairs rock star like some people are (no particular order other than last post in my Twitter feed), but I want to be PRESENT and taking an active role in my professional life. It can only make things better right?